Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the United States
Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the United States
"Your self-image controls the results in your life. You can become the sort of person and live the sort of life you want by deciding who and what you want to be, and then acting like that person and doing the things they do. Improving your self- image is the first step towards improving your results."
International Best Selling Author: Managing Mothering
1929-1993, Actress and Humanitarian
"Many of us are afraid to follow our passions, to pursue what we want most because it means taking risks and even facing failure. But to pursue your passion with all your heart and soul is success in itself. The greatest failure is to have never really tried."
"I dare you to be a lot more confident and stay on the bridge when everybody else is jumping off of it."
Singer, Songwriter, Philanthropist
"A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything."
Harry Browne 1933-2006
Author and Politician
Parenting is all about allowing your kids to grow into healthy, responsible, mature young adults in a safe and loving home. To that end, knowing when to say no to your children is crucial, not only for their healthy development, but for you as well. Nobody really wants to be me Mean Mommy. However, children crave boundaries and structure, so you can relax in the knowledge that saying no to your kids won’t turn you into Joan Crawford. To the contrary, setting and enforcing boundaries with your children conveys to your kids a sense of consistency, which is exactly what their little psyches need to feel safe.
My mom was a pretty tough cookie, so I know from experience that the hard lessons are the best (and most memorable) ones. Did your son leave for school this morning forgetting his clothes for football practice? Did your daughter forget her trumpet again? In the past, perhaps you’ve dropped everything and driven the items to the school, but next time say no. Tough as it may be to leave your child twisting in the figurative wind, these really are the teaching moments.
When you stop rescuing them from their own careless small mistakes, they learn to be more mindful because they don’t want to make that same mistake again. More importantly, they learn these lessons on the small stuff, rather than after they leave home and realize you aren’t there to fix every mistake they make. Best to teach 'em early.
Now if your kids aren’t old enough to get themselves ready for school, their mindfulness may not be your issue. Perhaps you’re dealing with tempers instead. It’s easy to give in when they pitch a fit to get their own way and you’d do almost anything to make the noise stop. Resist it, young Skywalker! That’s what they’re betting on. Remaining calm when your kids act out is definitely the harder choice, but it benefits you both in the long haul. Talk it out, ask about their feelings, engage them, but do not cave to the tantrum because it's easier. By holding firm in a loving way, you retain your parental authority, they learn that you can’t be manipulated, and amazingly, they learn that their parent is strong. And your kids need to know you're strong.
If your parental resolve has gone off the rails lately and you’ve caved in to your kids’ every desire and tantrum, you can get back on track again by re-booting their expectations. Choose one small “no” at a time rather than instituting a shock-and-awe “things are gonna change around here” tactic. One caveat: pick the hill you want to die on carefully. In the grand scheme of things, not everything is worth fussing and fighting over and being a kid is a hard thing. If he wants to wear his Spiderman pajamas to school, who cares really? He'll figure it out eventually.
Bottom line? You have no reason to feel guilty when you say no to your kids. Boundaries = LOVE AND CONCERN. Your kids are counting on you to communicate limits about what is acceptable behavior and establish consequences for what isn’t. They desperately need to know the lay of the land in your family. Sure, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth sometimes, but when they react poorly to your boundaries, try not to take it personally. No matter what they do, trust yourself. You’re still the parent and you really are smarter than a fifth grader.
"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead."
Nelson Mandela 1918-2013,
Anti-Apartheid Revolutionary, Politician and Philanthropist
"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again."
Stephen Grellet 1773-1855, Missionary
Think getting organized doesn't change your life? This is one woman's story about how it does.
Thanks for sharing and here's to your simpler life!
"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might."
Marian Anderson 1902-1993
Concert and Opera Singer
If you’re like many people, being disorganized is part of your life that annoys you. And annoying though it may be, that’s not the worst of it. Did you know that disorganization is also costly? Have any of the following ways have you experienced the actual monetary cost of chaos?
The list goes on and on... I recently read an article about a family plumbing business whose cash flow was negatively impacted due to disorganization, sometimes to the point where they couldn't even make payroll and the owners had to forgo their own salaries for weeks at a time.
The unfortunate part is that the business was plenty busy with customer work -- but their disorganization and lack of effective systems kept them from running efficiently. They were losing money, both in uncollected invoices and wasted time.
If you’ve experienced any of the above examples of costly chaos, (or even if you haven’t yet!) here are seven tips to help you save money by getting organized at home and at work.
The next time you think disorganization is merely an annoyance, I encourage you to think again. Disorganization costs you more time, aggravation and hard dollars than you ever imagined. Just by doing these simple things, you’ll be more organized and you’ll make your money go farther!
"The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It's an actual fact that if you've been moping in unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous instead and, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. Even in darkest grief you have a choice - The whole trend and quality of anyone's life is determined in the long run by the choices that are made."
Norman Vincent Peale 1898-1993,
Author of The Power of Positive Thinking
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson Author and Speaker
Today I got the best email from a woman I've never met. She reached out to me a few years ago via email asking for help but being out of state, all I could do was refer her to one of my colleagues in her area. It was a godsend to her and she has continued to stay in touch with me through my blog, email and she is an avid listener of The Big O podcast that I do regularly with Vicky and Jen. Last year her mother passed, which was very difficult for her and through that hardship, she has managed to stay on track and remember that the uncluttering process she started is for her own betterment. I am so very proud of her! This is the note she sent to me, Vicky and Jen and I wanted to share it with you as an illustration of how powerful uncluttering and organizing can be. (email used with her permission)
I heard your "shout out" to me in your last Big "O" podcast. Nice! I have a "new game" I am playing to help me get rid of stuff. I have been doing really well getting rid of my clutter, but when it comes to my Mom's things and memories it is really hard. So I play this game.
It is sort of like the diet "Eat this..Not that." I see so many things that I want to keep but there is no way.
So it's "Keep this..Not that." And this works for me!
It makes me prioritize what items are the most valuable to me. Sure I want to keep all the paper store bought cards Mom had tucked away. But then I would not have room for her sketch book with all her drawings. (Mom was an artist.) So I take a picture of her cards and put them in our recycling bin for pickup.
There are dishes and special vases that she loved, but I have no room for. So I give them away to her friends which makes them happy to have something of hers. And (this is the best part) I use what I keep.
No more waiting for "special" occasions. That way when I am entertaining everyone gets to enjoy the special dishware, serving plates or cups. If something gets broken at least it was while I was using it. I can not tell you how many times I go to unpack some special piece that was put away for safe keeping only to find it was cracked or chipped inside the box.
The "Keep this..Not that" idea makes me concisely think about what I am hanging on to and what it means to me after I am gone. (I don't have any family and I don't want my friends to come into my home and find a huge mess. LOL.)
My neighbor is still helping me with items for a garage sale. Elosie has a sale once every 3 months in her yard and I just bring my stuff over there. It make her yard sale bigger with more various product to sale and afterwards she either packs it away in her spare shed for next time or has Purple Heart to pick it up. Win/Win. Sometimes I get a little change, or at least know that the stuff is being donated to a good cause. I do get sad while I go through Mom's things, but I try to think of it a Treasure Hunt. I never know what I am going to find.
You've seen my friend Matt Paxton on A&E's hit show Hoarders. He was recently in Atlanta holding an educational presentation on hoarding and sharing info about his exciting new partnership and afterward I had the opportunity to interview him. Check out my interview with Matt here, and be sure to pick up his new book The Secret Lives of Hoarders too!